Skip to content

What turns a girl on in general and conversations?

Fuente

Post original de r/seduction — flair: Conversation

Title sums it up, i dont know how to make conversations more sexual and i want to improve that

Comentarios destacados

macroxela (▲ 323)

  • Double meanings or sexual innuendos. Just don't make them derogatory.
  • Flirting or compliments on something she wears, worked on or personality. They appreciate guys who notice the small things and observe more than just the physical.
  • Be interested in her not just sexually but also in other aspects. Talk about a shared hobby.
  • Touch her arm or hand. If she doesn't project any negative body language then move on to the shoulders & back. A hand resting on her shoulder or brushing your knees together also helps.
  • Be yourself. Most women can tell when you put up an act. It takes a lot more confidence to be yourself than to pretend to be someone else. And that makes you more attractive.

Coconut-Lemon_Pie (▲ 88)

Am a woman. THIS is the best comment I've seen yet! Also want to add body language can say a LOT! Smiling, winking, making her laugh (bonus if you can do it without saying anything) and having a common sense of humor will make things effortless.

nukemycountry (▲ 50)

Yes. Also a woman. Wanted to add to the list. Good eye contact. Not creepy, but well timed, maybe the end of a joke, catch her eye, if your heart jumps then you're doing it right. Also teasing. Not bullying but light hearted little jokes about things she does you find endearing. Makes her feel cute.

160620throwaway (OP) (▲ 19)

Any tips on teasing? I think I suck at that and 'escalating' sexual tension

nukemycountry (▲ 56)

There's a fine line between being a dick and teasing and it very much depends on the girl's confidence. So you really do need to read the room with this one.

An example where I did the teasing and it worked out: I was on a second date with someone. He was big into nature and pointed out a rat he saw in a tree. He was really excited to show me this rat but I could not see it. So instead of letting the moment die I pretended to think he made the whole thing up. "oooh sure, you saw a rat did you? Well where's your proof, huh?"

He was amused and annoyed and it gave him an excuse to initiate a bit of contact by holding onto my shoulder and pointing into the bush and trying to line our heads up. Then later on I made reference back to "oh yeah just like that time you pretended to see a rat" and it brings back the banter and the tension.

It wasn't a direct comment on his body or personality, it was a shared experience and an opportunity to turn something mundane into a bonding moment. Nice and safe, no chance to take offence.

[deleted] (▲ 24)

And actually remembering things she has told you or mentioned before. Shows you are paying attention and are interested.

DonnaCecilia (▲ 12)

This is spot on. Especially the last paragraph. As a woman, rather than exciting, I find game repetitive and boring. Being spontaneous and comfortable in your own skin works best and shows you as a driven, high value man, which is a good first impression to make.

kanoo22 (▲ 328)

Asking her about herself. Anything she asks u she wants u to ask her. In my experience many men just talk about themselves.

MrsMordor (▲ 121)

WHY DONT THEY ASK QUESTIONS??? Is it because they have all they need to know from looking at her & know she needs to know more to size them up, so they just blab and posture like a sales pitch?

mermaid-babe (▲ 78)

Seriously. If I can't hold a conversation with them or I'm just asking them lots of questions... it's a turn off

tokerjoker7 (▲ 89)

This is weird, I have the exact opposite experience with women, they never ask questions and I'm trying to carry a convo. I'm still looking for these women that like to converse

Always-Training (▲ 41)

In the beginning, try to respond to their responses with open ended answers then. It gives them more leeway to ask you questions about yourself. I had this ridiculous habit where I would keep on asking questions when an awkward pause happened, but realized that the awkward pauses (or lulls) are a natural part of conversations.

JazzleRazzle (▲ 10)

One thing I noticed was that she never asked me personal questions but was forthcoming with her own personal life when asked. Turns out, she had been sleeping around with several dudes. The takeaway: Take note of how a woman is presenting herself to you and act accordingly. Don't overthink it.

MrColfax (▲ 3)

I agree with this but it may risk looking boring and unimaginative if you were to be asked by her "what pets do you have?" and you reply "a dog etc etc, what pets do you have?" then "what do you study?" "commerce, what do you study?" See my point? Sounds robotic.

Siyuen_Tea (▲ 15)

Be wary, women tend to find themselves boring and will instead project that on you if you let her talk too much. If she's not smiling, laughing and/or touching you, there's a very good chance she's bored and just venting on you.

[deleted] (▲ 17)

My problem is I'm the exact opposite to where I don't like to talk about myself. So I constantly ask them questions. Maybe I should talk about myself more...

nukemycountry (▲ 14)

Maybe don't talk about either of you. Talk about some kind of media or your environment or whatever. I'm so bored of the same 20 questions back and forth. Who cares what degrees we're doing. That's shit's both personal and meaningless.

DonnaCecilia (▲ 15)

This. Getting too personal too soon can be overwhelming and feel like a job interview. Better comment on random details (like the place decoration, the music, anything goes) to stay comfortable and keep it light-hearted and dynamic.

tiverrend (▲ 191)

Many things, honestly. Besides being confident in what you say and who you are, don't be afraid to make flirty jokes/innuendos when you see an opportunity. Just sprinkle these here and there, as doing it all the time will start sounding creepy. Definitely look up innuendos and double-entendres to throw into conversation.

PartyMarty90 (▲ 35)

Teasing, flirting, being funny, being a little cocky or self deprecating, demonstrating higher value, stories or actions that show off your value and positive traits (intelligence, humor, confidence, success, your goals etc.)

160620throwaway (OP) (▲ 21)

Do you know where I could look to improve my teasing/flirting/being cocky and pretty much everything you mentioned? I think I struggle most with people who i dont consider in my main 'friend group' and I filter what I say

PartyMarty90 (▲ 11)

You just need to read the material and then practice. That's really all there is to it. Then just go out and practice. Talk to girls at the mall, bar, the street. Join clubs or classes, find opportunities to meet people. Be flirty and funny with every girl you meet, including servers, bank tellers, cashiers etc. With enough practice it starts coming naturally.

kiimba (▲ 31)

I read this scientific article about the different way women and men feel about sex. Women NEED to feel desired. And that really resonated with me as a woman. I want men to chase, and then if they have desires for me that's a really manly thing and I like that.

[deleted] (▲ 17)

Not OP but I'd say text often, send random thoughts. Compliment us, we'll get the hint right away. Don't be afraid to start a deep convo, we like knowing how your brain works and how you think and feel. The closer we feel to a man emotionally the more we desire them.

[deleted] (▲ 4)

Gotta be careful though cause if we sense the guy is pushing and pulling that is a BIG red flag, esp for women who like to be straightforward.

[deleted] (▲ 26)

In general? Foreplay, but you can't really get into this until you've had a conversation. In conversations? Depends on the girl of course, but generally speaking women are turned on by confidence and expertness in something (be interesting, be a leader, have friends, have a job or business or be good at school, art, sports, etc).

If you're interesting to men, generally speaking, you'll be interesting to women. Pursue the women that show interest and attraction and the sexual aspect can and should naturally flow into it.

civilsavage69 (▲ 55)

Sexual tension. It doesn't even need to be sexual, just super flirty.

Dominus-Prime- (▲ 32)

It begins with your presence. If you start off with a sexual vibe instead of a meek, eggshell vibe you set the stage. It's up to you to guide the convo to sex. Girls like talking about sex more than men do.

But again, it's all about how you carry yourself. If you're just trying to learn tips and tricks that are not natural to you, you will fail bc inside you are "trying". The first key is to become comfortable with being a sexual entity.

briannanechelle (▲ 7)

Don't take advice from other men. Don't be sexual at all, that's actually a HUGE turn off. Be yourself. Be confident but not cocky. Don't talk about yourself all the time. Actually ask her questions, good questions like "what are you passionate about?" Listen. Be engaging. Pay for things without hesitation. Take initiative. Lead.

Don't pressure for sex. Don't make conversation about sex, unless you're moving in the direction to have sex. Ask FIRST! "Is it okay if I kiss you?" "Are you comfortable if I...?" Communicate your intentions. Be honest. Be yourself. I cannot stress that enough. Don't try too hard. Don't be a dick.

Apocolypse_Meow (▲ 4)

I pretend I'm Don Draper and it usually works. I use my deep voice, I talk a little slower than usual, the end of my sentences usually go up, and some light touching either on the arm or on the back.

If I don't know her that well, she may ask "what are you going to get?" And I'll say something like "well I think I've narrowed it down to three options" — and then I kind of touch her shoulder a bit and point to the menu with my other hand. At this point, she's more concerned with my hand on her shoulder than whatever I'm saying.

Hinting at sex is more powerful than talking about sex. Touching reminds people of sex. It has to be comfortable and easy for her to play along. You can't add a lot of pressure.

starry_eyes222 (▲ 3)

For me, smarts. Being smart and being a free thinker. Thinking outside the box, also being handy, a decent cook, responsible, KINDNESS. You can be all those things, good looking, smart, successful, handy, but if you are not kind then ugh!

Also, HUMOR! If you can make me laugh and we match the same wit which is a combo of sarcasm, dark humor and goofiness then I'm in love, and also shyness and sensitivity. A bit of shyness and a guy who's a little sensitive is sexy, also depth. Gotta have some depth.

dambachern (▲ 2)

It's less about what you say and more about HOW you say it. Simple words with flirtatious eye contact will go waaaay further than blatant innuendo.

adityasood99 (▲ 6)

I have been in your situation and i know a lot many times its hard to think quickly on your feet and come up with some sexual innuendos and flirty replies. The unorthodox technique I can suggest is watch some tv shows with such themes or characters that are witty and humorous. Apart from this don't overthink and try coming with a perfect response. Take it slow and easy.