6 Simple Flirting Examples That Create Sexual Tension (Without Being Sexual)

Gentlemen. As you know, flirting is critical to attracting women and building sexual tension.

The most important thing to keep in mind about flirting is that: IT'S ALL ABOUT DELIVERY.

The difference between flirting that is fun and builds sexual tension vs flirting that's just plain cringe, all boils down to delivery.

There's three main components to delivery: Timing, Confidence and Playfulness.

Timing – Some types of flirting can happen immediately. Your opening can be a flirt. Other kinds of flirting require some attraction to be there already. If the attraction isn't there, then what would otherwise be playful flirting can come across as totally cringe.

Confidence – It's basically impossible to flirt without having confidence. If your hands are stuffed into your pockets and you're looking at the floor, nothing you say will come across as fun, playful and flirty. Nothing you say will build sexual tension. I'll talk more about confidence at the end of the post.

Playfulness – Flirting needs to be delivered as a joke. A half-joke really. A half-joke essentially means that on the surface flirting is delivered as a joke. But there's some underlying hints (some unstated, mysterious nuances) that maybe you're just a little bit serious. That's what creates tension, thrill and excitement.

6 Ways To Flirt

1. Making an Ongoing "Big Deal" Out of Small Things

This tease involves taking any kind of small thing that she says/does and blowing it out of proportion. Poking fun at where she's from is a great example. Almost everywhere has some stereotype about it. Here's some examples:

She's from a small town – Stereotype examples: "so you totally like to bail hay in your spare time, don't you?" "Yeah, we can go, but my car moves faster than a tractor. You ok with that?"
She's from Vegas – Stereotype examples: "so you totally have a gambling problem, don't you?" "Are you going to try to bet me for the next round of drinks?"
She's from England – Stereotype examples: "so you like to eat everything in 'pie' form, don't you?" "Yeah so let's get the steak and chips, the salad and chips and I'll have a beer and chips. What are you having?"

The key to this type of flirting is that making a big deal doesn't mean "make a huge deal once, and then forget about it." Instead, it means keeping the joke ongoing. Making references to the stereotype whenever the situation calls for it.

For example, if you happen to see a pack of cards, or a pair of foam dice hanging in somebody's windshield, or you walk past a casino, or you see a billboard for a gambling addiction hotline, you can again make some kind of reference to the gambling stereotype. Like you're "keeping her away from the addiction" while playfully pulling her away from the casino entrance, or "they put that sign up when they found out you were moving here."

2. Making Random Assumptions That She Will Do "Unreasonable Things" For You

For this one I mean "unreasonable things" in general. Not in a sexual way.

Examples:

She spills something in your car: "So…when are you planning on buying me a new car?" She gives you the pursed lips and scrunched nose to the teasing. "Well it's either that, or after dinner we'll go back to my place and I'll get a bucket of hot soapy water and a scrub brush ready for you." Another round of pursed lips. "I have to supervise the scrubbing though."
She says she'll stop at the store for a bottle of wine: "Oh you're going to go shopping for me? That's so sweet. You know I'm actually out of laundry detergent and paper towels. Thanks for getting all that." She gives you the "I've just been teased" look. "Oh and dish soap too."

3. Playfully Blaming Her for Things

Here's some examples:

You reach for your drink and realize it's empty: "Did you seriously just drink all my drink?"
You bump into her lightly when walking down the street: "Can you stop bumping into me?"
She says basically anything which is not intended to be flirty: "Quit flirting with me all the time."
She asks you a question about something totally innocuous like "should we see the 7 o'clock show or the 9 o'clock." You pause for a moment holding eye contact; mild smirk: "Why do you keep looking at me like that?"

4. Acting Like What She Just Said Is Really [Fill in the Blank]

For [Fill in the Blank], it can be anything which fits the situation or what she is talking about. For example, really "silly," really "nerdy," really "Texan," really "yoga-ish." Any kind of stereotype (playful stereotypes – nothing that is actually offensive).

Here's how you execute this: As soon as she's done saying something which was probably intended to be serious, you look at her in silence for 1 to 2 beats. Hold eye contact and have a straight face (i.e. be nonreactive to her statement).

On the 3rd, 4th and 5th beats, let a big smile slowly grow on your face. The kind of smile that non-verbally indicates to her that you think that statement was kind of [Fill in the Blank].

After a couple beats, she will say something like "what?" because the look on your face is begging for that question.

That's when you say something which teases her about being the stereotype.

Example: She's telling you a story about something from her childhood which you interpret as silly. First you do the 5 beats and the smile. She asks what? Then you say something like: "You were totally the class clown growing up, weren't you?" or "I bet you had ice cream stains all over your clothes growing up, didn't you?"

Anything which fits the situation she's talking about and pokes fun at her story.

5. Unexpected Subject Changers That Create Obvious Interest

These are great ways to open a girl. Particularly if she talks to you first about something totally unrelated.

For example, you're in a store and a girl working there says "are you finding everything ok?" Instead of just answering yes or no, you ignore the question and change straight into an opener which clearly expresses interest: "Hi. (said boldly with a big smile) How are you doing today? (hold out your hand for the shake)."

In this example you're making it pretty obvious that you're about to start hitting on her. It's flattering particularly because it's unexpected and you'll almost always get a smile. Then proceed to make conversation with her.

6. Non-Verbal Flirting (Excluding Eye Contact, Smirk & Body Language – Discussed Later)

Here's some examples:

Getting in The Way – This is where you would physically get in her way, but act like you're not doing anything wrong. For example, you're both inside and she says she needs to go outside to get something. You agree she should go outside to get whatever it is. But then you stand in the doorway, so she physically can't get past you. You act like you're doing nothing wrong until she smiles, pokes you in the stomach, pushes you or whatever. At that point you move out of the way.
Doing Something She Asks (But Not Completely) – For example, she asks something like "can you pass the salt shaker" or "can you hand me the phone" or "can you give me that." Basically she's asking you to give her something which is out of reach. Let's take the example of the salt shaker. Instead of grabbing the shaker and moving it over right in front of her, you move it closer to her by just a few centimeters. You move it just far enough, so it looks like you "put in effort" but it's still out of reach. Then she gives you the "I've been teased" look while you act like you've done nothing wrong. Maybe you do it a second time. A few more centimeters closer. And when the joke is played out, you hand her the shaker.

Flirting Delivery - Confidence

As mentioned earlier, confidence is key to flirting. Here's the basics of what you need to do.

Eye contact – when you're saying something flirty, look deep into her eyes. Hold the eye contact just a little too long. Give her the look that says you're a sexual man, not a friend.

Smirk – have a smirk on your face that says you're a little too cocky. That you're confident enough to play around with her and you don't take yourself too seriously.

Body language – lean in towards her a little bit when delivering the flirt. Get just a little too close. Start closing that distance in preparation for escalating kino later.

Conclusion

Start confidently incorporating these techniques into your game and your interactions will be more fun, you'll see more (and quicker) signs of attraction, you'll see that sexual tension spiking more quickly and ultimately you'll have more successes and fewer times landing in the friend zone.

Women love guys who can flirt. Show her you know how.

For more great content to up your game, check out these videos for:

Comentarios destacados

Captain_Koons_ (▲ 55)

I like to try to make it a positive thing. One thing I do a lot is ask what she studied in college then assume she's going to the top of that field.

For example, if she did marketing I'd say, "oh so you're the next Don Draper?" For poly sci I'd say next Hillary Clinton or something.

rantown (▲ 12)

The next Hillary Clinton? Washed up Politician? That doesn't sound good!

12wangsinahumansuit (▲ 31)

A good deal of the advice on here is either so specific that it drowns in details and overwhelms anyone who tries to follow it or so vague and abstract it's impossible and even pointless to apply to real life; by the time you're able to apply it you've already learned it by experience.

This article hits that rare zone, in my opinion, where actually doable advice falls. I feel like I can go out and use this next time I talk to a girl without having to be entirely in my head thinking about how to do it or thinking about 50 different variables. So thanks.

dumb-on-ice (▲ 14)

So basically this is like my regular personality with girls most of the time. But instead of holding the tension, I kind of naturally tone my voice to make it lean towards the friendly side instead of flirty.

I have noticed this pattern over the years that new girls I meet seem interested in me in the beginning but become friends later on. Does this mean all this time I had to just sound like I was flirting? Man, feels bad to know.

JefemanG (▲ 11)

That's why "assume attraction" is a thing. Never take a risk, never get the results you're hoping for. I had that happen a lot in early college until I caught on to it. You just need to escalate more and take the risk, because most girls won't.

gigitygigitygoo (▲ 6)

I think you may need to work on escalating, like building some form of sexual tension whether it be physical or verbally suggestive. Without that, you're essentially forcing the female to make the first move towards the next step which obviously doesn't happen often.

NotorioG (▲ 29)

I get what you're getting at and there are times and places for some of this but its fundamentally flawed if you're walking in thinking of this as a method of creating tension. This stuff needs to come out naturally and in the moment.

You cant plan it, or use the line you read on reddit. It doesnt work. Any kind of worthwhile girl will see through it.

The best game always is no game at all. It's that you're so confident in who you are that you have authentic abundance mentality and outcome independence. You have life goals, you're reaching for them, you have interests and things to talk about.

Here's the fun thing — when you are lined up, have built yourself into a worthwhile man (in the only eyes that matter, your own), the teasing will come out naturally. It cannot be forced. You can't pre plan it.

This entire sub can be summed up in one sentence: Become the best and brightest version of yourself and the rest WILL sort itself out.

FluffyKittenPaws (mujer) (▲ 6)

What are you? 14 years old? This is not flirting. This is being a total dick. I signed in after two years, just to say this, because it is all terrible advice aside from being confident and making eye contact. Compliment her. Be kind. Jesus.

BaconLady2016 (mujer) (▲ 10)

Please also have normal interactions with the person you're interested in. *The above may work yes, but not 100% of the time. Ps. A woman also likes to feel empowered, not belittled.

greenlittleman (▲ 3)

Anyone likes to feel empowered. But to get laid you don't need to make girl feel good about herself. You need to make her feel what your social status is at least equal to her, or much higher if you want her to chase you. Teasing works because a person of lower status can't tease their superiors, which by default tells a girl what you are either equal or superior to her socially.

lailah92 (mujer) (▲ 4)

Oh wow!!! Coming from a woman, these are all great examples of ways to land in the friend zone!!! I seriously have friend zoned countless guys who pull this shit and kinda get me annoyed.

Endovelico (▲ 2)

Everything you laid out is literally all I do, and it works really well. I do think that it's a "style" that doesn't fit everyone. It's much more fun as well for me, than the typical cold approaches/kino stuff.

livid_coffee_drinker (▲ 4)

Be careful not to overdo any of this. Actually if this isn't just your natural personality, don't do any of it. Don't try to be clever if you aren't.

pah799 (▲ 12)

The whole point with his examples is that you're NOT being a dick. You're just being challenging and playful. That's a huge element of flirting...

EightyTimes (▲ 6)

It's not about being a dick. It's about teambuilding.

When people play catch, they don't just pass a ball back and forth in guaranteed safe zones. When you play an MMO, you don't stay in areas 10 levels below your own. You GROW your skills by slightly PUSHING LIMITS.

It's EXACTLY the same in social situations. Teasing, challenging, and playful competition like the examples given above are GOOD things. It's about having fun, seeing how they will react, and how you might react in return. You not only each grow as individuals, but you also grow together as people.

[deleted] (▲ 1)

I agree. I have a roommate like this. I find it tiresome to be around someone like this, and that's why I don't hang out with him as much anymore. A little teasing here and there is fine and dandy, but when someone is constantly busting your balls, it's annoying. I find a lot of what was described in the OP as cringey.