Girls are impressed by guys who don't try to impress them
Fuente
This is why bragging or showing off causes girls to lose interest. This epiphany made me realize it's about connecting with them and learning more about them, their goals, hobbies, past, etc.
The question isn't "How do I impress her?"
It's "Will she be a good fit for me? Can we have a good conversation with each other?"
It took me time to change my thought process from trying to impress her, to seeing does she fit into my life. I still haven't completely made the switch in mindset, but I'm getting there.
It also took me time to stop thinking about ATTRACTION, and start thinking about CONNECTION. In a conversation my focus isn't bragging or trying to convince her I'm cool anymore. It's instead trying to learn more about her.
If I'm confident, that will make her feel more comfortable with me.
But bragging will train my mind to think I'm not good enough, which leads to less confidence in future interactions with other girls and guys, who will then feel less comfortable with me.
This is one of the biggest things I've learnt that improved my social skills. Changing my thought patterns like this is a lot harder than learning a conversation technique. But it has much better results.
Comentarios destacados
white_disc_4_holes (▲ 197)
I always felt that the concept of "impressing girls" is like tricking them into thinking that you're awesome, rather than actually being awesome. Because it literally means you're going out of your normal routine to do something, which makes it fake.
Helipilot22 (▲ 155)
Treat them as friends, not objects to crave. Yes they're gorgeous, admit that. Take an interest in their life, their experiences. If they're closed off, then find one more open. Building trust is a key. Many people these days are only out to use people for their own gain.
MetronTheCollector (OP) (▲ 53)
Absolutely true! Seeing them as friends/humans is such a healthy mindset. I've noticed a lot of guys who struggle with girls see them as objects. These guys also give off a different energy that makes girls feel uncomfortable and avoid them.
LawdyHowLayLooYa (▲ 8)
I follow this entrepreneur who always posts screenshots of his tinder convos. They are always super simple and not even very flirty. He'll say something like: "You look like fun. What are you looking forward to most this week?" And I'm always surprised at how great the responses are. He establishes that he's attracted and then rolls up his sleeves and goes right to business. It's fascinating.
[deleted] (▲ 24)
Don't be interesting, be interested.
Don't think about whether someone likes you, but rather about whether you like them.
Plebe-Uchiha (▲ 32)
Someone who is comfortable doesn't go out of their way to prove that they are comfortable. They just are. Same with confidence or anything.
Someone who is confident doesn't go out of their way to prove they are confident, they just are. If you know, you know, and don't feel a need to find validation because you know.
Vivaciousbeans (▲ 15)
I think confidence can be a fake it til you make it sorta thing. Sometimes inside my brain there's nasty thoughts, but a bigger part of me knows chin up, shoulders back, and rock this shit.
A super simple example: I want to wear pretty sassy clothing, I started as a tshirt and jeans girl. It's taken a lot of second guessing and outfit changes but I started going out of my comfort zone long before I was confident about it. And sometimes something new still gets me shaky on the inside, but I'm also rocking stuff I never thought I would and feeling damn good a lot of the time.
Surajholy (▲ 22)
After simping for a few years, now getting girls is easy. This is what I did: Focus on your goals. Do your own thing. Treat them like your sister. If they throw a tantrum, walk away. Be direct and tell her what you are looking for. Be direct and have no fear.
Few months ago, a woman I was interested in stopped calling and texting me after I told her I like her. After 4 months, she called. We met and had a great time. She needs you more than you need her. Never accept bullshit from them.
Simp_Master1 (▲ 53)
I'm sorry but if you don't flirt with girls, they will just view you as a friend. Simply asking interview questions and getting to know them isn't enough. Girls want a guy that sparks her emotions and you can't do that by asking her basic questions.
shaggy1452 (▲ 8)
I would expand and say it's not "what can i do to impress her" as much as it is, "are the things that i do impressive?" Like the fact that you can deadlift 500lbs might not impress her, but the fact that you go to the gym every day no matter what is impressive. It's not what can i brag about doing to impress her, it's have i done enough impressive shit that it will just speak for itself.
LeMaik (▲ 24)
The best example for this is the guys that are like "how do i talk to GIRLS?!!!!" As if talking to a girl is different to talking to anyone else in any way. Just talk and try to connect, no matter the gender.
white_disc_4_holes (▲ 22)
Man I have difficulty starting to talk with anyone when there is no context. If I'm at the gym or uni, there's something common to talk, but not anywhere else. I don't know what words I need to spit out. What do I SAY?!
LeMaik (▲ 7)
Try commenting on something they're wearing (not creepy, just normal conversation) — "cool shirt" and you're in already. They'll say "thanks" and if that's it, that's it. Don't put pressure on yourself to make it more. Also bus stations are good places to start talking. Don't think "woah i didnt say anything for 2 minutes, now its weird to start talking again" — I promise it's not. The ice is already broken. Just go for it.
WalidfromMorocco (▲ 15)
Alright, but presenting yourself as a friend will get you a first class ticket to the friendzone.
pancakebirdpowder74 (▲ 6)
Us women literally could give two shits about money, fancy cars, anything impressive like that. It's like an "Oooo that's cool" but if we don't actually connect with you then it isn't going to work out. I've been saying "treat girls like they're human" and not like a conquest, we don't have a friendship meter, we just wanna see that you're genuine and we want to know about you.
cyberpunk1Q84 (▲ 2)
You shouldn't be obvious about trying to impress a girl you like, but definitely try to impress her - just be subtle about it. Bragging is not seduction - it's ego and overcompensation.
Think of it like job hunting for your ideal job: getting your dream job is both about you impressing them as it is about them impressing you. You need to be able to demonstrate your genuine value effectively, and that takes practice and skill.