Make a habit of talking to all strangers, not just attractive women. Seduction is a subset of being generally charismatic with people.
Fuente
Outer Game
I see a lot of posts on this sub saying, ‘I’m going to make a goal of talking to x number of women” or “I made x number of approaches”.
The mindset of talking to women as a homework assignment or goal is counterproductive and seeks validation when it is end goal oriented, like focusing on getting a number after the interaction.
Most women will be able to sniff this out, that you are being disingenuous and are seeking validation, or simply trying to get their number, instead of having an interesting conversation and letting things unfold naturally.
Being successful in seduction is just fine-tuning general people skills and Charisma . Rather than focusing your energy on just talking to attractive women, talk to all strangers. Try being genuinely interested in how they are doing, and making them feel good about themselves without an end goal in mind, or if they reciprocate your gestures.
When the time comes to talk to an attractive woman, you aren’t treating them as a means to an end or a homework assignment. They aren’t on a pedestal, it’s just part of your routine of being friendly, interesting, and conversational.
Comentarios destacados
u/otro_usuario (▲ 12)
This is generally true, but shouldn't be confused with trying to talk to every. single. person one meets. Ideally, one should have friends and hobbies, as well as social activities that they go to/ attend. These should be varied, and one should be trying out new "things" socially on a weekly/monthly basis. Never been to a club? Go there once. Don't have a drunk story? Try it. You ever been ziplining? No? Well go fucking zipline then. Apply this to restaurants, zoos, clubs/lounges, dancing classes, instrument classes, whatever is your thing.
And if you don't have a thing, you should be asking other people for their thing so that you can try it and then BOOM!! Maybe you have a new thing, maybe it's just a story. Ideally, you should strive to know whatever area you're in and where in that area "things happen"/where is cool to hangout. Like stars? You should know the one spot were the stars are amazing at night. Things like that. That way, you can arrange something fun for others, make pretty good suggestions in groups and develop cool skills and confidence. That's what the money is for, no?
eckzotic (▲ 6)
THIS POST. A major goal in my life is to be able to talk to complete strangers, not just attractive women. You'd be surprised what kind of connections you can make, so many opportunities can become available to you. I stepped out of my comfort zone a while back and just started with a simple "good morning" to people at the bus stop, I made a cute female friend that way and even got her IG, we talked on the bus all the way until we headed our separate ways. Unfortunately I stopped doing this and now I'm back into my socially anxious ways. I feel like your social skills are like a muscle, they need to constantly be trained or else they just go back to what they were at first.
socialanimal_us (▲ 2)
You ll love this video about the importance of cultivating your self expression: https://youtu.be/0lKRM76uFeI
jarhead06413 (▲ 5)
Do yourself a favor in the form of an experiment: on 2 separate nights (or days)... Day one: approach completely sober and anxiety riddled. Push through your nerves and just talk to people. Day 2: take a shot or 2 of whisky (not a bottle), or rum, or vodka... your choice. Whatever "takes the edge off". Approach and talk. I'll guarantee your day 2 will be more successful. Huge spoiler alert though... it's not the alcohol. It's the inhibition. Alcohol may be the tool you used to drop your inhibitions on day 2, but other tools are available and healthier. You need to find those tools that suit you, and no forum will ever give that to you. The point is, you need to be comfortable in yourself, as yourself, to drop your inhibitions and just enjoy the moment. Thats the key takeaway you should be getting here: be IN THE MOMENT. Listen, engage, talk, and just be a good person. Women love a good listener
[deleted] (▲ 1)
I'm not anxious when sober and only have slight nerves, I'm currently concussed and everything takes a bit more effort so is there any specific tips for making people feel good without any goals or endpoint just talking to the boys or a random person. How would I make them feel good without straight up complementing them on something?
jarhead06413 (▲ 9)
You can complement them all day, as long as it is genuine and not an attempt. Conversation has to come naturally. If it doesn't, there are ways to improve on it that you can implement. Take an active listener approach, where you let the girl (or guy) talk. The trick to it is to actually listen. Make eye contact. Comforting body language helps to ease the tension. Square yourself to them, don't cross your arms or legs, be open and engaged. If there is a pause, reflect back on something they said in their previous soliloquy that may have peaked your interest. Provide feedback. Let them know by actions that you are interested and intrigued, and able to listen without talking. All of this is simple stuff that anyone can do. Don't overanalyze yourself or your responses. If you're not confident they will sense that.
Important note: nobody likes the one-upper. If they bring up a topic and say "I've really wanted to learn to boat", it's OK to say that you've got experience boating. Don't say something bragodocious like "I can race any boat as long as it's over 200mph". If they say "I just learned to bake a cake", say "oh that's cool, I love cake" as opposed to "I've baked like 200 cakes a week for the past 3 years". (Note- be relatable but not cocky). If you're doing Push/Pull you can incorporate this approach as "nice, I've known how to bake since I was like 4, but it's cool you're finally catching up... maybe I can show you some stuff I've learned about baking cakes next Friday at 7..." (this pokes fun at her without being overly obnoxious, and opens up a dialogue of setting a one on one doing something intimate... women love a dude who knows how to cook, it caters to their later fragility of being the mom who hates cooking for everyone).
Do everything deliberately but not creepy. It helps to have a passion of your own to be able to speak to, like baking in the example above.